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Friday, December 13, 2013

Karl Alzner Should Be In the Olympics

I am starting a segment where I am trying to come up with reasons why every single Washington Capital should be in the Olympics.  No matter how outrageous it may be, I will try my hardest to find one single reason why they all should be playing for their countries.  So, here we go for the first one.

OF COURSE KARL ALZNER SHOULD BE IN THE OLYMPICS.  I mean, are you serious?  He is the best defenseman for the Washington Capitals.  I mean, our defense isn't really that impressive, but if anyone is impressive, it is Karl Titan  Alzner.

Now, his middle name is probably not Titan.  I actually have no idea what his middle name is.  But, if I had to guess, I would say his middle name was Titan.  Because Karl Titan Alzner is the man.  Karl Alzner is the best  Caps defenseman by far.  He is a sound, technical dude that outsmarts all of the opposition.  There is a reason we picked him number five overall in the 2005 draft.  It is because he is extremely smart on all side of the puck.  It is obvious he knows what he is doing defensively, but when
Karl Alzner with dachshunds
thinking about gold medals
it comes to offense, he is relatively underrated.  Trust me.  The next time you watch a Caps game, tell me he doesn't pass the puck extremely well to the open man.  Or tell me that he doesn't fling a puck towards the net when he has an open shot.  And when he does it, it is awesome.   And he already has one goal this year.  WHICH IS A MASSIVE AMOUNT FOR ALZNER STANDARDS.  That means he is really finding his offensive game.  Which is what I imagine Team Canada is looking for.  He is on pace for a career high of four goals.  Also, he is sixth on the team in plus/minus.  While that may be a pointless stat, it is not when it comes to Alzner.  Because it is well known that Karl Alzner loves plus/minus.  Alzner is also the ninth best player on the Washington Capitals when it comes to relative corsi at a solid 3.2, and he is drawing a penalty every 5 periods of play.  Wouldn't Canada like to have a power play every five periods that Alzner is on the ice?

Don't laugh at all.  While Alzner is not the best offensive d-man, he is one of the better defensive-d-men in the world.  And is that what defenseman are all about, defense?  Pick him for team Canada, and you will not be disappointed.

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